Retrospective Thoughts

Sometimes you remember things from the past very fondly. Just the realization that you were ‘someone’ who has changed to ‘somebody else’ now is an interesting experience in itself. Last night I was lying on my bed trying to sleep, doing nothing, just thinking about my life right from my childhood to where I am today and where I am going to be in the future. One does not document every bit of his life religiously in a diary. It usually resides in one’s head. Those lost experiences, those thoughts when you were a kid and the way you think is sometimes difficult to recollect.

Everybody changes; with time priorities change and with that the way you think also changes. It is sometimes very hard to understand or comprehend that you were once upon a time the person you were. Good or bad, you were what you were. And you are what you are because of what you had done in the past.

I was going through my blog. I used to write regularly but with time I stopped. Now it has become laziness coupled with a little bit of disinterest but what I wrote in the past actually reflect how I used to be only a few years back. The way I looked at life then is much different from how I look at it now. I actually enjoyed reading what I wrote. It took me back to the times I spent writing those blog posts and I could actually feel the tit bits and emotions surrounding those thoughts.

Memories are like feathers that are affixed on your hat of life. Some of them flow away with the wind of life but the ones that stay are the ones that make the maximum impact on you. Those feathers can be your relationships, experiences, emotions etc.

Life is changing so fast. I will be hitched soon… Now more on that on a different post (She deserves that ;)). But I can only wonder or imagine how I am going to be in a few years time. They say, change is good and I hope to stay positive about that but still…


What is my identity?

I have been asking this question to myself for quite some time now… No doubt I am being philosophical about this whole thing but the idea here is that I am confused about my own identity.

In the current context, identity means traits embedded in a person’s character which originated from the culture of the place they live in.

I am born and brought up in Assam, did my entire schooling there, went to Surat (Gujarat) for engineering, stayed in Delhi for a year, did my MBA in Lucknow and now I have been working in Mumbai for the past two years. Unlike a lot of my peers, it has never been an issue for me to assimilate myself with the culture of the place I have been to. May be I can adjust way too often or it is there in my nature, but the whole thing perplexes me a lot or least to say, it concerns me. I don’t know whether it is good or bad to have one’s own distinct identity but I feel I am more of an assortment of bits & pieces from here & there rather than being some one with a distinct identity.

May be it all boils down to my nature or the kind of person I am? It may also do with the intrinsic human nature of adapting to the environment to make the best for oneself. Some people consciously/ unconsciously resist change which is their comfort zone. For me, I probably feel more comfortable in making myself adapt than making the whole environment change for myself…

I know this is all crap… but I loved writing this post. 🙂

Pursue Joy, not happiness!

What is the difference between joy and happiness? How does one pursue joy and be happy? What exactly is joy and how does it impact happiness? Ever wondered or pondered about these?

Well, I recently read an article by Mr. Guy Kawasaki. He was delivering a speech to some high school students where he spoke about different things which one should do in life. One of his suggestions was to pursue joy, not happiness.

Now, as far as I could understand, happiness is a state of mind. It is a greater term which has a broader scope. Happiness is a never ending pursuit… A healthy body, a good income, nice family life etc. are some of the determinants of happiness. But do they really ensure happiness? I don’t know. Can anyone say with full authority that if he earns X lacs of money every year, his wife is the most beautiful lady on earth, he has every conceivable luxury on earth and he does not have any health ailments, then he will be happy?

A person is never sure what will give him happiness. He is always moving in darkness in his quest for happiness. Some say eternity is bliss… religions say that death will bring happiness to the soul after it coalesces with the universe. Philosophers say happiness is inside… It is deep within… Over the centuries people have tried different ways of finding happiness. Some leave their cozy jobs and move to the mountains in pursuit of happiness… Some meditated & got enlightened and spread words of wisdom. At the same time, some became serial killers in their pursuit of the so called happiness. But the biggest question is whether they were really happy?

Now for common people like us who cannot of course go to the mountains or kill people or get enlightened, what can we do to make ourselves happy? We should pursue joy, not happiness. Joy, according to me, comes from every small thing in life. You go out and it suddenly rains… You get drenched and come back happy. That is joy. You met an old friend of yours out of nowhere and you chatted with him/her for hours… it took you to your old days… That is joy. What I mean to say is that joy can be found in every tiny little & seemingly insignificant thing in life. It is doing things which make you happy. It is like trying to become a kid. Remember those days when falling rain drops mesmerized you. Remember the time when you spent countless hours chatting with your friends in a small room without worrying about the next day’s assignments. Things like that… Joy can be found in every thing that you usually tend to ignore.

If you want to be happy, try doing things which give you a feeling of instant happiness. Make a painting… get drenched in rain… take a random trip in the local train from one end to the other end without getting down anywhere… sleep on the beach one full night… Surprise some one with something special and make his/her day… spread joy and you will be happy.

That’s why, pursue joy, not happiness.