There comes a time in everyone’s life when he has to weigh his values or morals against something which is sinister. I too faced a similar situation during the last few days. It was a question of existence and a matter of pride. It was a question of ego and a matter of self respect.
I was in a catch 22 situation. There was my prestige at stake and my values were about to be shattered. Still I went to an extreme and tried to ensure everything went on track…but at the end of the day it was not to be…The outcome was not that I expected…I am feeling very sad because I could have ensured it better and just. The others took undue advantage of my weakness…Now I have nothing but to repent for everything that has happened over the last week…
I just want some solace and peace of mind.
06th Oct’05: Seminar Hall, Computer Engineering Department, SVNIT Surat
My seminar presentation was on this auspicious day at the above mentioned location…Mine was second in the queue…Finally my time came and I went up on the stage. I wished the jury members and the other fellows present there…I was having a gut feeling that the day at the end would not be that good…The total marks for the seminar is 50 and I thought a 40+ score would be very good in Computer Engineering, NIT Surat. But now I don’t think my score will reach even the 40’s…There are reasons behind…
The first shock came soon after the conclusion, when one of my jury members told me: “Only if u could have done a better search”…I saw the whole sky falling upon me…I had the questionairre session but only the students asked the questions. The jury abstained from asking the questions because they had a notion that this guy had copied each and everything from one source and dint put any labour. Now looking back at the seminar day, I really ask myself “WHAT REALLY WENT WRONG?” or in other words “WHY ME?”…I am frustrated because they blamed me for copying but they did not look at the labour put by me. The efforts in going through the research level papers to prepare a seminar report that too at a short notice went unnoticed. The so called COPIED portion was a very small portion of my entire paper. The other topics were very well taken from other sources. I do not deny that I searched the web pages but there was no other way out because our library is incapable enough to provide us such good facilities and at the same time, certain topics are available in the net only. I would have been at fault if I would not have read anything and copied everything outrightly…But I READ everything before putting even a single line in the report.
I just dont give a damn about the marks. Yeah! I don’t care. What hurt me was the disparaging attitude of the jury.
I am thankful to one of my class mates who sent me an SMS after the presentation got over. Her message really rejuvenated me…The only silver lining of my presentation was that my friends praised my performance and I am glad that I prevented many from taking their usual “nap” during the seminar :).
The only thing that every person on this earth should look into is that things are not as they seem to be. We can expect everyone to take a deep thought before every action so that genuine work does not go in vain!!!
Dropping the sands of sadness,
I keep moving on and on
Want to quench my thirst
But where is the oasis???
My journey has been too long
There were lives and pretty vales
Where have they vanished???
Where is my river of hope..!!!
Is this the so called end?
My glass hose is falling…
I need u oh venerable!
Help me take me out
Dreams are not to be shattered,
I have promises to keep;
Give me your aegis almighty
I want to keep moving on!!!